Our Lukas Life

First Santa

2011-12-17T21:51:00.000-08:00

Can you tell who was happiest to visit Santa?

A Visit from Sandra and Austin

2011-09-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Cousin Austin came to visit for 10 days. He stayed with my parents, but spent some time with us, playing with Axel and Autumn. He loves his little cousins and is such a good big cousin. He strives to be a good example to them and loves to take care of them and show them new things.

I helped the boys make a water park in the back yard. They had so much fun splashing and sliding and laughing. I missed getting any good shots of the slip and slide in action. So sad.

To take a break from the heat, they did some painting. Austin painted outer space, and Axel painted with all of the colors.

Autumn finger painted with the boys and felt very much a part of the fun.

After picking Sandra up at the airport, we visited a park in Sacramento. It was where Ram and I had our last play date with Axel on a drizzly day in October before Autumn was born. This time, she was with us. It was a nice time spent with Sandra. We don't get time alone to just hang out and talk very often. I love my sister. She is one of the sweetest people I know.

So is this little girl. Her smile reminds me of my sister's smile every day. It's almost always on and it can cheer me up when I am feeling down. My little sweetheart.

Cascade Shores

2011-09-13T21:23:00.000-07:00

We took a trip out to Ram's old playing place. He grew up outside Nevada City near Scotts Flat Lake. I think this is what Ram pictures when we dream of our children being able to have access to the land like we did when we were young. It is our hope that we will be able to provide this for our children in some capacity. For now, it will have to be limited to visits on weekends.

Axel had so much fun at the lake. He went "swimming", threw rocks and went exploring with Daddy. The days leading up to our day trip, I was so full of stress and depression, I could not even make up my mind what to do on our weekend. This trip was just what I needed. It was so peaceful to be out in God's great creation (even though man actually made this lake :) The weather was beautiful and, as I held, nursed and played with my sweet Autumn, I had the pleasure of watching my husband do what he most desires to do with his son. It was one of those times when they seemed to be exactly where they should be. They were having an adventure, just like Ram did as a young boy on that same shoreline.

It was perfect. My heart swelled, and I was so thankful for the family that God has given to me. Such sweet times revive my soul.

SF Trip August 2011

2011-09-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

The kids and I had the pleasure of visiting Daddy while he was attending a conference in San Francisco for the week. We spent time with a good friend who showed us what a day in her life is like. They recently celebrated their one year anniversary of living in San Francisco. They have a great apartment in a nice neighborhood. I love the view from their living room window. I could sit there for hours. Autumn liked it too.

Axel seemed to really enjoy this trip. He loved taking the bus or train to get around. After a couple trips, he started asking me, "Is this our bus?"

We ate outside at The Cheesecake Factory atop the Macy's in Union Square. There are more independent restaurants that we enjoy, but, with the kids, this place is so much easier. The view is great, and the fog was rolling in, so, of course, we were loving it.

After being home one day, we decided to take a day trip to the bonsai show in Santa Rosa. During the demonstration, I took the kids to a park. Axel loved this little grove of redwoods. He immediately deemed it a house tree and took up residence. How appropriate that he would love the tree while Ram was enjoying his day at the tree show.

A dinner stop in Sonoma after playing a bit in the park square. Axel has not been agreeable to posing for photos lately. Autumn, on the other hand....well, she knows she's cute and doesn't mind posing for a shot or fifty.

Mary's Pizza has become the tradition for this trip.

We loved being outside so much where the weather was so mild, whether in the city or at the park. I felt like I was on a date with my children the whole time we were gone. They were so sweet.

Summer is Here

2011-06-30T21:19:00.000-07:00

June in Photos

2011-06-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

Staying cool

So fun

Hours of fun

Baking muffins

Someone likes attention

cooling off

Too cool

Fun at the park

Going fast

Fathers Day 2011

2011-06-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

We love our Daddy and grandpas.

May 2011

2011-06-27T14:39:00.000-07:00

Not much out of the ordinary has been going on in our little house. Just the regular family life with a 2 year old who does not like to go to bed and an 8 month old who is learning how to make her way around the house and into corners full of crumbs in the blink of an eye.

The kids love to be in whatever room mom is in. There is usually a scene like this in the afternoon while I am preparing dinner. Axel has babies or cars (or both) strewn about, and Autumn is mopping the floor with the front of her shirt. She also does her fair share of playing with cars.

Axel loves to have his little sister play in their room with him. We are working on learning about sharing. He wants Autumn to play cars with him, but then doesn't want her to have any of them. Sometimes he understands that it is nice to see other people have fun with our toys, but sometimes he does not. Most of the time, they play very well together. Autumn loves to see be with her big brother. She lights up when he wakes up from his nap or comes into the room ready to play with her.

Axel has been extra tired and hungry lately. He even chooses to lay down sometimes. The rest usually only lasts a couple of minutes, but for a busy boy like him, that's a big thing. We often comment that he might be a foot taller by the end of summer the way he is eating some days.

Ram made a dirt kitchen out of cinder blocks and some old redwood boards. We went to the thrift store and purchased some utensils, pots, bowls and pans. He likes to make us dirt pies with leaves and sticks. I tell you, they are YUMMY!

Autumn is sitting well on her own and loves to be able to get her own toys. She is such a sweetheart. What a perfect fit for our family.

Eating is one of our two big challenges with this sweet baby. Sleeping is it's own story all together. She doesn't care much to eat and is pretty stubborn. Quite the opposite of our eat anything little boy. I am finding out the little tricks that I have to employ to get Autumn to open her mouth. We are determined to teach her to enjoy a wide variety of foods. It will take some time, but we'll get there.

May and June have been tough months, like the few before that. But looking into the eyes of my sweet babies helps me remember the reason I am doing all of this. They are such a precious gift to us. Sometimes, though, the best gift is the two of them napping at the same time.

June

2011-06-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

Axel River dressed for rain June 4, 2011

If you know me and Ram, then you know that when we wake up to rain, our hearts feel invigorated and we leap for joy a little bit inside (sometimes literally). This beginning to June will go down in our history as the best one to date. When else will I get chance after chance to dress my little boy in his rain boots and let him go out to play in what we think will be the last rain of the season? To be outside with Daddy is what this boy loves the most. Today is a tree work day in the rain, so that is where Axel will be also. At least until Mommy says he is too wet and cold.

Since most of my days lately are laced with sleep deprivation and depression, this extra rain has been so good for me. Rain and clouds do not equal gloom and darkness in our little house, rather a joy and amazement of the excitement that God gives us in nature. I am looking forward to summer, but spring and winter can linger a bit longer, if it's up to me.

Something I will try to remember for the rest of my life....

2011-05-30T19:56:00.000-07:00

Autumn's baby breath is the sweetes thing I will ever smell.

First Food

2011-05-30T19:50:00.000-07:00

Autumn started on solids this past week. She doesn't seem all that interested, but is swallowing a good portion of it now.

More blogging to come when I feel up to it.

My Mother

2011-05-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

Here is a photo of my parents when my mom was pregnant with me, one of my favorite photos of her. I can see the cheerful spirit and the sweetness in her heart. She is still this way, even more so, I think. She was young then. Now, knowing more about the world and having experienced the same amount of life over again, she is still sweet and cheerful. She is a true example to me, especially right now as I struggle to be cheerful and sweet, sometimes minute by minute.

Thank you, Mom, for being such a great mom to me, April, Sandra and Ben. Thank you for being a such a loving mother in law to our spouses and future spouses. And thank you for being a dedicated grandmother to our children. I love you more than I can say.

a break

2011-04-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

I have been exhausted lately. Too tired to keep up on my usual things like the dishes and the laundry. The bathroom and floors have been neglected. I guess this is just how it will be for a while. Having two is hard right now. Ram is on his paternity leave for 5 more weeks. So, we are trying to take it all in. I want to focus on loving my husband and little ones and getting a few things done.

Also, our computer has decided that it is too sophisticated for our outdated photoshop. So, I will go with it and take a break from blogging. Hopefully not for long. I have some great photos to share.

Axel's Birthday Party

2011-04-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

What fun! Doughnuts, two candles, family, sunshine and gifts wrapped in colorful paper. We had a fun day, and Axel sang "Happy Birthday" to himself and Autumn for at least a week.

Future Architecture Lover

2011-03-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

Walking into the living room this morning, I found Axel sitting on the couch intently looking through the pages of our new Dwell magazine. Since I was a little girl, when I would use my Dad's drafting paper to draw floor plans of houses, I have had a fascination with architecture. I babysat for a family who had a pile of Architectural Digest magazines in their living room. It was so fun to dive into them after the girls were in bed. In junior college, I would sit in the computer lab within earshot of the CAD class and just dream of being able to understand what those students were learning. If I ever decided to make a big career change, architect would be one of my top choices.

Seeing Axel look through these pages makes me hope that he will appreciate architecture the way Ram and I do now. It would be so fun to take our children on trips to view the great architecture of the world, when they are older.

One of the houses featured has some children playing at their kitchen table. The next page shows the outside of their house with a skuut bike leaning against the house. He really zeroed in on that bike. Little does he know that there is one in the trunk of daddy's car right now.

Autumn's First Trip to the City

2011-03-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

I decided, after many months of not having the courage, to take both kids to San Francisco on the train. Ram was working there, so we decided to invite Grandma for a little adventure- a test trip with our new double stroller- to see if we could handle spending a day there. Of course, it was a requirement that Autumn wear tie-dye for her first trip.

We got up early Thursday morning and headed to the train station. It was a good start and we had a nice train ride, despite Axel saying, "Done. Off train?" when we stopped at the Sacramento station, 2 hours before our final destination.

We visited Daddy at his office, where we always get a lot of attention. It's not every day cute little babies show up in the office. We walked around a bit looking at some of the sights by the ferry building. Then, it was time for a yummy cheeseburger lunch and more walking.

Don't let this photo fool you. Autumn spent hardly any time riding in the stroller, and this may have been the only time she was not crying while in it. We didn't get far at all. Actually, we hardly saw or did anything.

Toward the end of our trip, we found a playground in China Town. This was a much needed break for Axel, and the rest of us.

The highlight of the trip for me came when my little boy was actually tired of walking and asked to be carried. This might have been the first time he has ever asked for me to carry him. I strapped on the Ergo carrier and held him as we walked to the bus stop. This was a moment I have missed for about 10 months, since I had to stop wearing him when my pregnant belly got to big. I think I almost cried.

After a little playtime, it was time to meet Daddy and board the train to head home. We sat next to the party group on the train ride home. At first, we wondered if we should move, but it soon became clear to me that this would provide some good entertainment for Axel, and a break from keeping him constrained to his seat for us. He chatted up the tipsy commuters for much of the ride home.

We were exhausted that night and the following day. Axel was thoroughly over stimulated by the city, and being awake for the whole 13 hour trip was a bit much. It took us a couple of days to recover. I am still not sure if or when we will make another trip like this, but we did have fun.

Almost 5 Months

2011-03-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

Our little girl is getting big! Autumn will be 5 months later in March. She is such a delight. Ram reminded me the other day that, when Autumn was born, our midwife said, "She already smiled!" That was before she and I even got out of the birthing tub. This pretty much cums up our time with our baby so far. She is such a happy baby, and is full of smiles.

Autumn has started to enjoy time on her tummy. She has discovered that her hands are connected to her body, and that she can play with toys. Every toy she gets her hands on goes straight to her mouth. When she is done playing, she has figured out how to roll over to her back.

Just this past week, Autumn has begun to sit up a bit with the help of a pillow. She seems quite proud of this.

It really is amazing how much more in love we become with our children as we see them grow and become more of their own person. Our love for Autumn is no exception. She is a wonderfully sweet little girl. It is so fun to watch her grow.

Sweethearts

2011-03-12T15:06:00.000-08:00

With all of my heart, I am thankful for the 12 years that has passed since I promised to spend my life with this man. Marriage is tough. Marriage is joyous. I think, maybe, I make it tough as much as I make it joyous for Ram. He is, however, dedicated to me. He is full of forgiveness and grace for my attitudes and my follies. He is happy to share in my joys, but not afraid to walk through my sorrows with me, as well. We are far from perfect, but I am so glad that we can admit that to one another and have the grace that we need to love each other through it. I am so thankful to have someone who loves me as much when I am utterly unlovable as when I am at my best.

I love my husband.

Axel is 2

2011-03-08T14:49:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday, my sweet little boy. You are such a kind and thoughtful little boy. You are cheerful and like to be helpful to me and Daddy. You are becoming such a good big brother. It warms my heart each morning when you come in to our room and say, "Good morning, Aw-em" I almost don't want you to learn how to pronounce your sister's name correctly, it is so sweet just the way you say it now. You delight in sharing your cars and babies with Autumn, you read her stories and like to do tummy time right beside her.

I just adore your little face and your big brown eyes. I see the same thing in your eyes that I see in your Dad's eyes. By the way, that is what made me fall in love with him. You love following him around in the yard and helping him with his trees. I hope you are gleaning what you can, even at this age, from him. He is a great Daddy and I know you will grow up to be kind and gentle just like him.

I love you, Axel River. You are my favorite first born.

Play Cars You?

2011-02-16T20:31:00.000-08:00

The most common request that comes out of this little mouth is "play cars you?" Axel plays cars most of the day. He interjects little bouts with the blocks, a puzzle or a snack of nuts and raisins (which could be a whole other blog topic) throughout the day, but he always goes back to the cars. He loves going over bumps, and parking the cars. He is always asking us to play cars with him. This is difficult for me, to say the least. I do not know how to play cars and find it difficult to enjoy driving tiny cars around and parking them. However, this is what makes Axel feel like he is getting some much needed attention from Mommy and Daddy. Once I do play cars for a few minutes, I do feel closer to my tiny guy. I feel a different kind of warmth from him when we play together. I like that warmth, and I know he does, too.

So proud of our car circle!

Our car art. Pretty good for an almost 2 year old and a super un-artistic mommy.

Back Yard Fun

2011-02-08T11:10:00.000-08:00

We have been having so much fun in the back yard, when the weather is nice. I am looking forward to spring like never before. We finally have a back yard that we can play in. It will be so fun to lay out a blanket on the lawn for Autumn and sit in the hammock while Axel plays.

Three Months

2011-01-22T20:54:00.000-08:00

Autumn is three months. She is our little sweetheart and is settling in so well as our fourth family member. Most of the time, she is content to hang out with us on the sofa or the floor. She seems to be laid back and tolerant of her brother driving cars on her and giving lots of kisses. Autumn likes to be put in her bed when it is bed time. She will just lay there and stare until she falls asleep. This has been such a gift to me. She still sleeps in Mommy and daddy's room, as we are not ready to put her in the other room with Axel. I really enjoy being next to her at night.

Autumn is right in line with her big brother's growth pattern as she weighs 17 pounds now. She eats well, sleeps well and keeps us changing diapers like a baby should. She spends most of her time holding her little giraffes and chewing on them. It is so fun to see her learn about her hands. We try to do some tummy time (time-time as Axel says it) each day. Her brother likes to lay right there with her and show her his cars, telling her which one he is holding up. Axel also likes to show her how he can eat like a big boy, complete with naming each food he is chewing. He is becoming a really good big brother.

Her smiles, and the addition of laughter this last week, brings such joy to this house. We all love her and are so glad to have her with us. She is ours.

A Handmade Christmas Gift

2011-01-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Auntie Sandra, Autumn is the most fashionable girl on the block. She embellished this onesie with some calico fabric, embroidery floss, buttons and the ever so sweet lace wings on the shoulders. And I didn't think Autumn could look any sweeter!

At Home

2011-01-10T10:54:00.001-08:00

Axel playing cars on the couch. This is where most of his time is spent.

Usually, each morning as we are having breakfast and getting ready for the day, I am formulating in my head how I can get out of the house. I feel restless and a bit of cabin fever. I struggle to feel content staying at home, doing a few chores and, here's the big one, playing a bit with my kids. I have always known that sitting down with them and giving them my attention as we play cars, blocks or babies would be one of my biggest struggles. I am great at reading stories, but when the script is gone, so is my natural ability.

So, this past month I have been trying to concentrate on being with them. Training them, delighting in them and their company and playing. I still only manage a few minutes at a time, but really, Axel just wants me to drive each car a foot or so and park it in it's new location. I actually find myself more cheerful at the end of the day when we have had a day at home without going out to immerse ourselves in the culture of consuming that we are surrounded by. My babies are so sweet, and they won't be babies for long. Being more deliberate in many areas of my life is the goal for me in the new year. I am starting with focusing on my family to the exclusion of the world outside our walls. Sometimes it is dark and lonely for me in this house, but to appreciate the life God has given me this year is to allow myself to be in this place and appreciate it for what it is. A house full of my most precious companions.

Here is what it usually looks like in our house. No photo shop, no lighting, just us in our mess.

Tummy time on Axel's unmade bed.

I guess you could say we spend most of our day climbing, sitting, cuddling and playing on the couch.

Love Her

2010-12-23T21:54:00.000-08:00

I mean, really, how could we not? Our sweetie is so sweet.

Great Grandpa

2010-12-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

Grandpa held Autumn for the first time on a Sunday at my parents' a couple weeks ago. He thoroughly enjoyed it. His heart seems to melt when he sees precious little ones. How much more it must have melted to hold one of his own.

Ornaments

2010-12-11T14:26:00.000-08:00

Axel and Autumn each have a new ornament from Amma and Grandpa.

The Bed That Daddy Made

2010-12-08T20:26:00.001-08:00

Autum's cosleeper that Ram built. I love having my baby so close and in such a cool bed.

The Tree Is Up

2010-12-07T17:51:00.000-08:00

So, our tree still comes out of the garage. In the coming years, we may choose to get a real tree, but, for now, we use the "charlie brown" tree. We all love it, and Axel thinks it's beautiful.

Mommy held the crying Autumn, while Daddy and Axel decorated the tree.

The finished tree! How many times will it get knocked over this year? I'm guessing at least twice.

Thankful for Cousins

2010-12-07T17:48:00.001-08:00

A bunch of extended family and three under the age of 2! What a Thanksgiving! Just out of the picture are a bunch of hands ready to grab falling babies. Axel was very proud of himself. He likes to hold Autumn and cousin Hunter.

Bubble Bath is the New Thing Around Here

2010-12-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

Newborn Portraits

2010-11-23T13:51:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine, Anna http://www.lifestopphoto.com took some amazing photos of Autumn (and me and Axel) in our house. She had a vision of capturing the space in which we live. I think she did a great job. By the way, aren't my babies beautiful?

Truck

2010-11-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

Thank you, Cousin Austin, for your trucks. We use them for playing and sitting.

McKinley Park

2010-11-20T08:58:00.000-08:00

As our last outing before the baby would be here, we went to McKinley Park in Sacramento for a little bit of fun. It was rainy, but that didn't stop us from getting lost in the wooden maze.

We had so much fun!

Three Weeks Old

2010-11-11T10:27:00.000-08:00

Playing Dress Up

2010-11-04T17:53:00.001-07:00

Trying on some of Mommy's clothes. Apparently we have differing taste in fashion.

Our First Visit to the ER

2010-11-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

A week after his baby sister was born, Axel came into our room in the morning with rosy cheeks. he felt hot to me, and I thought, "Great, how are we going to keep the baby from getting sick". Axel did not show any symptoms, except that he had been extra needy and fussy all week. I figured that was because of the new baby. After about 10 minutes of being in our bed, he wanted to just lay on his tummy and go back to sleep. that is when I knew he must really be sick. Axel never wants to cuddle, in fact, he has never been sick enough to even want to take it easy for the day. Ram got up with him to put him on the potty, and that is when it got scary.

As Axel sat there, he seemed like he was going to fall asleep right on the toilet. His head was falling to the side and his eyes were closing. I told ram to take him to the changing table and I would get the thermometer. As Ram was taking his temperature, Axel's eyes began to roll back and his head fell to the side. He had extra drool just pouring out if his mouth. His hands were tight and shaking. We determined quickly that he must be having a seizure. I ran and got dressed, out the door to the neighbor to ask her to stay with the baby while we took Axel to the hospital. Back at the house, ram was dressed and has our limp boy on our bed. he was pale and his breathing was so shallow. I thought I was losing my baby. It was such a terrible feeling.

On the way to the hospital, Axel was still unresponsive, but began to look out the window and hold his head up on his own. This made me think that he may be coming out of whatever had happened. By the time we got to the hospital, he was doing much better. He was dazed, but was responding to our voices and was alert to his surroundings.

By the time the doctor came in to see him, he just seemed like a sleepy little boy. Here is how he looked after about an hour.

The doctor determined that Axel had a Febrile Seizure due to a high fever. The fever was brought on by an ear infection and possibly a common sore throat virus. With giant shot of antibiotics and a band aid, Axel was sent home with Daddy and Grandpa John to be monitored for a couple days to be sure the fever did not spike again. By that afternoon, after a good dose of Motrin, Axel seemed almost completely better.

We are so thankful to have had such a good outcome that day. To watch our little boy appear to be slipping away was almost unbearable and very scary. We are so thankful to God for His mercy and grace, and for his creation of such miraculous bodies. It turns out that this kind of seizure is a safety mechanism against more sever damage from a fever. If you don't know about Febrile Seizures, do some reading, so you can be prepared in case it happens to your child.

Thank you all, as well, for praying for us during that day. It was such a comfort to know we were not alone.

First Photos

2010-10-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

Axel is officially a big brother!

2010-10-21T09:35:00.000-07:00

Baby Girl Lukas
10/20/2010
8 lbs 4 oz
20 1/2 inches

Castor Oil

2010-10-20T12:16:00.000-07:00

Well, the time has come. I can hardly stomach the shake this time, as I have the memory of it from Axel's birth. I just cannot see another option at this time. Hopefully, things will get going quickly and not even run into the night like last time.

I am feeling quite fearful of how this may go, since the castor oil could make me pretty sick for a few hours. My biggest fear is not the labor, but the possibility of puking. I do want to meet my little baby, though. What's a few hours of yuck in the long run, right?

Please be praying for us.

Dinner With The Family

2010-10-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

Ben, my brother, took some photos of dinner and dessert tonight at our parents' house. He also made us a mean noodle soup. One of the finest benefits of him spending two months a year living with his girlfriend's family in China.

Thank you, Ben.

Licking his hand in preparation for dessert.

Mmmmm, cake with "beeyos" (berries) and cream....

Too delicious to waste any,

except maybe what gets on his nose, and cheeks and chin and bib..........

Such a nice evening with the family.

Photos by Ben Walberg.

Axel's Birth Story

2010-10-10T13:41:00.000-07:00

It has been over a year and a half since Axel was born, and I have wanted to get this written out for some time. As I contemplate this impending second birth and how the story will unfold, it is a comfort to look back with such fondness to our first home birth experience.

So, here is the story of the home birth of Axel River.

It started with a video by Rikki Lake when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. Ram and I looked at each other, and he said, "Well, I guess we're having a home birth". I was surprised by his enthusiasm, since it was stronger than my own, but I didn't see any alternative. We found our midwives, Claudia and Jen, and we were in it.

What came about over the next months was a realization in my heart that I was meant to do this. I was meant to carry this baby in my womb. My body was designed and perfectly formed to do the work of nurturing and forming the child inside. So, naturally, this meant that I was perfectly equipped to give birth to him as well. I came to the strong opinion that no doctor or nurse, or anyone for that matter, could tell me what and how I needed to labor and deliver this child that I alone had been carrying and bonding with. We were a team, and we were made to do this together.

I knew from the beginning that God was telling me that He would guide me. That He had created my body so perfectly for giving birth to this child, and that He would help me get through it. I didn't need medication, or constant monitoring. I especially didn't need to be in a hospital. Rather, I needed to be in the most comfortable environment I could create, my own home. I believe with all of my heart that being here, in my nest, was the key to having such a beautiful and peaceful experience.

At 42 weeks, 1 day gestation, I was extremely anxious about getting this baby out, yet, still, no signs. I had spent the day in the rain, digging out old concrete from the yard. I was walking, and yes, I was doing the other things too. My midwives were really putting the pressure on me to get the show on the road. Much longer, and the baby could be in danger, which would have meant a trip to the hospital. So, after attempts at herbal remedies, pressure point and other stimulation, as well as acupuncture, I was down to my last option: CASTOR OIL! I was fearful, to say the least. I had been advised by nearly everyone except my midwives not to do it. But, when I had spent the last 9 months preparing to be at home, I was willing to try it.

So, at 42 weeks, 2 days we went on a morning walk as one last ditch effort. Nothing. I was at a loss. So, at half past noon, I made that castor oil shake. Several huge scoops of chocolate ice cream, a couple of dollops of peanut butter, a little milk and 3 ounces of castor oil! I drank it down. That walk was the last walk we would ever take, just the two of us...

Two hours after I finished that shake, labor began. Maybe two cramps and then labor, hard labor. Ram called the midwives to let them know something was happening. They said one them would be by in an hour or two to check in and see my progress. Ram called my mom to tell her I was in early labor. I said, "I don't think this is early labor". I sure hoped it wasn't. I couldn't imagine that real labor was harder than that. The only thing that helped me handle the pain was squeezing Ram finger or his thigh. The few times he couldn't be in the room during a contraction, I felt like I was going to lose it. When Jen got to our house to check me, she was surprised to see that I was laboring hard. Upon a check, she determined that I was dilated to 6. Good news for me. That meant I could get in the tub as soon as it was ready. I did just that, and stayed there for the next several hours.

The tub was like a miracle for me. The water was so soothing. I was able to float through my contractions. I had found my "roar" as they call it, and was making my noise of choice while floating in the tub. This was it. I was having a baby. I was in my baby's bedroom. I was doing it.

Much of what happened for those hours is a blur. I know our family was there in the living room. I know I ate frozen cubes of juice and chocolate pudding. I know the midwives had me get out of the tub and try some other positions and places, but all I wanted was that tub. As I floated there, Ram sat in front of me, calm as he always is. He wore his t shirt that reads, "This too, will pass" I stared at that shirt as I moaned. Just as the pain seemed to have taken all I could give, I had the strong urge to push. I was told to check my cervix to feel if there was any lip around the baby's head. What an amazing feeling! To feel my child's head moving downward through me. It gave me such a peace to feel his head right there. There was no lip. I was ready to push.

It took a while for me to figure out the pushing thing. Claudia would guide me and show me where to focus my efforts. From my vantage point, I could see the baby's head moving down with each push. Finally, after about 90 minutes of pushing, a tiny little baby slid out into the water, still in the unbroken sack (en caul). Claudia broke open the sack and handed the baby to me. He was a little gurgly, but crying. I called the family in to see. Photos were taken, everyone was so excited. I yelled out, "I still don't know if it's a girl or a boy". It took me a moment to get my bearings and turn the baby a bit to see that it was a boy! We all cheered! What a moment. I had my child in my arms. My husband was next to me with tears streaming down his cheeks. I was good. I was great. I had just faced serious pain and gone through it with the ones I loved most, my husband and my new little boy. We were a team, a team of three. We did it, I did it. I knew I could. Though I had my moments of doubt and others sure had theirs, I followed my heart and my convictions. God created me for this, and He lead us through it together. I wouldn't change that for anything.

Big Helper

2010-10-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

These days, Ram has a #1 Right Hand Man for all of his yard work needs. This guys does great work. He scoops up handfulls of dirt at a time,
spins wheels,

and pushes an empty wheelbarrow back and forth on the driveway.

At this pace, we plan to have the back yard completed in no time. Thanks for all your hard work, Big Helper.

Goodbye Mullett

2010-10-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

Well, we didn't get a new baby on our due date, but I did get myself a little boy. Today we said goodbye to baby Axel and gave him a big boy hair cut. I am quite sad to see my little guy's mullett go, but I knew it was time. I asked Ram if it was a bad idea to do such a thing on our new baby's due date, with all my emotions and hormones racing through my body, but only a tear or 2 were shed. There were so few tears that they did not even roll down my cheeks. Tonight, well, that may be another story. I loved that little mullett and could have kept it forever.

First cut...

He was such a good boy....

He didn't even need a treat to keep him still.

The finished do.
Thank you, Auntie April, for giving my handsome little boy his first hair cut.

Capturing Us

2010-10-03T15:52:00.000-07:00

My brother, Ben came down with his camera to take some photos of us as a family of 3. It won't be long before that all changes, and, though we are so excited to meet our newest family member, we want to treasure this time as much as we can.

By the way, I am so crazy about these two adorable boys!

Seriously

2010-09-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

This month has been monotony. Except, of course, the evenings spent working in the back yard until dark. What could be sweeter than a naked baby in the dirt with a hammer?
I wish I had some banjo music to complete the picture.

Baking a Cake

2010-08-28T11:08:00.000-07:00

Mommy was in the mood for a chocolate cake. Axel wanted "up,up,up". So I obliged and we had such a fun time. I have been looking forward to the time when I could have my children in the kitchen with me, creating things. Axel seems to already love it. He has been mixing in his bowl after wtaching me mix the frosting. The tasty frosting wasn't a bad treat, either.

"Yum, yum, Mommy, I think I'll help next time, too."

Seriously Awesome Bed Head

2010-08-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

No words necessary!

Water Park

2010-08-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

We took Axel to a little park in Rocklin that has water fountains for the kids (and parents) to run in. It was just his size.

It was so warm out, I enjoyed getting in the water, too.

He really liked running around, especially when Daddy would run around with him.

What a little boy!

Of course, some time on the playground, too!

Nevada County Fair 2010

2010-08-16T16:39:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was our highly anticipated day at the fair. Axel woke up sick with a cold that morning, but we decided to go. Once we were seeing the sights, he was in a chipper mood. Axel responded with such fearlessness to the animals. He thought it was so funny to feed them the "grass" right out of his hands.

He loved seeing the piggies, goats, cows, chickens and sheep. He got right to their level. He even licked about a 6 inch section of a rail in the goat pens. That was a little too close for me. What if a goat heiney had been on that? Oh gross! He was all covered in hay and dirt, just the way a baby should be after visiting the 4-H section.

We couldn't get far without checking out the wheels on the tractors and mowers.

Oh, and the Humvee. We had to get near those giant wheels.

Axel and Mommy shared a corn dog. He liked it for a while, then threw it on the ground which made the rest inedible for Mommy.

After walking around a bit, we had our giant, gooey delicious cinnamon roll and made our way to the carnival area for one pass through. I didn't want to put Axel over the top with too much stimulation. A good ride on Daddy was the way to go.

I think we'll make it a family tradition to get a photo in front of all the lights of the carnival. It's really the only time we stop when walking through that area.

We also have a tradition of climbing in the photo booth (this year, it was more like stuffing ourselves in). Ram and I have a black and white strip of photos from the fair for every year we have been married. Hopefully, the kids will still want to do it when they are big. This year, Axel looks so much like his Daddy does in his family photo strip from when he was little.

What fun we had once again at the fair. Now it's time to look forward to next year.

Yuba River July 2010

2010-08-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

Axel is having so much fun this year at the river. We have been a couple of times.

He even enjoys being tossed high up in the air by Daddy.

The water is really shallow at Bridgeport, so Axel can touch in a large area. He has little fear when it comes to running around and dunking himself in.

He also really enjoyed playing in the sand with Grandpa.

I think he realized that he has sand at home that is trying to be as cool and fun as this beach.

As I have said before, we love the river. This river is where Axel's middle name comes from. This summer is proving to be what we hope it will be for many years to come - our outlet and escape from all things hot and sticky.

Big Bed

2010-08-05T21:15:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, Axel decided he wanted to sleep in his big bed. He hasn't turned back. I am so thankful that it wasn't a fight. Hopefully, the crib will be a distant memory once the new baby needs it.

9+ weeks to go..........

First Swim Lesson

2010-07-15T15:18:00.000-07:00

Axel started swim lessons in July. I found a really nice guy named Tod, who does the lessons at his house with just a few kids in each class. Ram did Axel's first lesson with him since he had the day off. I am now going with Axel to class. It is so nice to get in some water for a bit every couple days.
We play with toys and try to swim to them. The goal is to kick to the toys.

So far, Axel does not see any need to kick his legs.

He does love the water.

Then, after grabbing on to the side of the pool, Axel sits on the side. on the count of three, he leans forward for Daddy to pull him into the pool. He is now going under water with this step.

The kids like to ride on "Mr. Duck" and the jump off into the pool when the song is done.

I always felt like Axel liked the water, even when he was in my belly. I look forward to watching him swim and love the water as he grows up.

4th of July 2010

2010-07-15T14:43:00.000-07:00

A friend and coworker of Ram kindly invited us for a weekend at their home in Donner/Truckee for the 4th of July Weekend. It was so nice to get away for a few nights. The weather was as beautiful as the setting. I really wish we would take advantage of our beautiful mountains more often. Hmmm, maybe we need to have a house up there........

Axel tasted and loved his very first berry pie. Thank you Ikeda's.

We walked to a reservoir where the water was low and mud was all along the shore. Axel didn't seem to mind. He ended up changing into his swimming clothes for the walk back, after his walking clothes were caked in mud.

Don't we look cute, or goofy, in our hats?

Axel had fun exploring the shore where he found pine trees, rocks and a frog eating snake-pictured at the end of this post.

We took another walk the last day through the wooded area near the house. It was so pretty. The flowers were in bloom......

The boys had fun walking a bit on the trail.....

Pokey pine cones were found.....

So was the powdery dirt on the trail....

And here's the snake that Axel almost sat on. We watched it eat up the frog until it was traveling through it's abdomen. A good National geographic moment.

We had a great weekend.

May in Review

2010-06-12T11:25:00.000-07:00

May was a rough month for me, hence the lack of blog entries. This past week has improved a bit, and I have been feeling more rested and more positive about daily life. So, here are some of the highlights from the month. We did have some fun, afterall.
Having fun in the water, really we were, despite the look on this guy's face.

Axel's new bike. He took to it quickly and likes to run into the walls and kitchen appliances.

Watching for the trash truck, a highlight of every Thursday morning.

Reading some Dr. Seuss with Daddy.

Helping Mommy cut and mash a dozen avocados.

Sand!

Popcorn is fun to eat, and yummy!

He loves his puppy. He says woof woof and puts the nose in his mouth, running around the house. He loves to kiss his puppy.

He doesn't really care for swinging.

More love for the puppy.

Helping Mommy make banana bread. He loves to be up on the counter while I work. I wish it was easier to do so I could do it more often.

Axel's second time having binkies (crepes), but his first time enjoying them and eating it on his own.

The Zoo

2010-06-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

As Mother's day approached, I began to think about how I might like to spend my day. It dawned on me that this might be the only way I could convince Ram to take us to the zoo. I have been wanting to go for years. My hope was that Axel would have a fun day and maybe see some of the animals. He did see many of them, but only seemed to understand what he was looking at a couple of times, the flamingos and the giraffes seemed to be his favorites. The giraffes are always my favorite. Axel really liked all of the wheels he saw on the other strollers, wagons and worker vehicles he saw around the park. The love of wheels seems to be very close to an obsession, at this point. It deserves it's own blog entry, which I will do soon.

Here are the highlights:

A fun day! I wonder what we'll do next year for Mother's Day. With 2 kids, will I just want a day to myself? I hope not.

Endure

2010-05-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

Sick boy, exhausted Mommy. Hopefully, this will not be how the whole week goes. Thanks for checking in. I hope to be up and running in much better spirits next week.

Blog Break

2010-05-17T21:40:00.001-07:00

We have a new computer that I have yet to take the time to figure out the photo editing software. We have also encountered a whole new miserable nap schedule/ separation anxiety. I am taking every chance I get to rest if and when Axel sleeps. Hopefully, in the next week or so, blogging, along with sweet photos, will resume. Until then, wish me peace and sleep.

Up High

2010-04-23T14:27:00.000-07:00

Our sweet little baby has turned into quite the climber.

It started out small enough, just pushing the chair over to the counter and checking out the stove...

then up the ladder.

The little mister thinks he is invincible and has incredible balance.

This is where the line stops. He is not allowed to climb into the window sill. But does he care?

I was not able to get a photo of when he climbed on top of the dining table. I give him a week to figure out how to get out of his crib.

The Shirt Says It

2010-04-17T21:11:00.001-07:00

It's hard to read, but it's true. Early October we'll meet baby number 2!

Axel's First Truck

2010-04-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ram and I have been very conservative when it comes to buying Axel new toys, but we thought it was time to get Axel his first truck. He is one, after all. He has been drawn to wheels for quite some time now, so we knew he would like it. He took hold of it right away and started making truck noises while pushing it around. If I wasn't sure I had a boy before, I am positive now. This child makes his boy noises with such enthusiasm. I just adore it. (I could see myself with a whole group of little boys.)

What could be more fun than driving the truck through the couch tunnel?

Nice Weather

2010-03-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

Now that the weather is so nice, Axel is having so much fun exploring our somewhat safe back yard. We still have a lot to do, but he is happy as could be to crawl around in the gravel and play with the rocks.

This is the first time that Axel has ever decided to take a rest on his own. Aside from one time when he was about 4 months old, and fell asleep on his bedroom floor, he has never chosen to lie down by himself. This was a very happy moment for me.

He did not, however, go to sleep. It was just a momentary rest, lasting all of 60 seconds or so.

Axel's First Birthday Party

2010-03-23T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ram came up with the theme for Axel's Party a few months ago. Piet Mondrian was a painter in the early 1900s. Axel's cake and invitations were a "replica" of one of his paintings. It was so fun to come up with the decor. I made a garland of red, yellow and blue felt squares that hung across the kitchen ceiling. Didn't Ram do a great job decorating that cake?

I couldn't decide which party hat I liked best, so he wore both of them. The cone with the elastic was the one that stayed on for a little while. He was so sweet in that hat!

Here's Mommy bringing Axel his first birthday cake!

And now...the cake sequence...

He hardly put any in his mouth. He did like it, when we made him taste it. It was lemon, his favorite, but I think there was too much for him to realize he was supposed to eat it.

After opening a few presents, we played in the back yard and enjoyed our family and our little boy. It was a perfect first birthday party.

One!

2010-03-18T15:46:00.000-07:00

My little love bug turned one on March 8. My, how time flies! Due to sickness on Mommy and Axel's part, we had to postpone the party a week. We had a great time with family. Axel had a great time with the cake that Daddy decorate for him. I'll post more photos when I get copies of them from my mom. This is one of the few photos Ram or I took that day, since we just wanted to spend the day enjoying our boy.

Happy Birthday, Axel! You are such a precious gift. We love you tremendously ad look forward to many more birthdays to come.

By the way, Axel and I are feeling much better this week. That illness was quite a doozy!

Pacific Northwest Road Trip Part 2

2010-03-03T19:13:00.000-08:00

Well, part 2 did not have nearly the excitement that part 1 of our trip had. We spent some fun time in Seattle, then drove to Portland. We spent about 5 days in Portland. While Ram was at his class, Axel and I spent most of our time sleeping and playing in the quiet of the Bed and Breakfast. A few days in, I came down with a yucky cold, and that was that. I was done with vacation and wanted to be home in bed. That is exactly where I headed. We drove for a very long time and finally arrived home around 11:15 Friday night. The next several days are a blur, as I was in bed and miserable for a good portion of it. Now, Axel is sick. We hope to be on the mend by the weekend for Axel's birthday. This vacation was fun, but I don't know if i will ever want to go on another vacation again. :)

Axel's First Time ON the Beach

2010-02-23T15:45:00.000-08:00

Mmmm, sand!

Pacific Northwest Road Trip Part 1

2010-02-23T15:06:00.000-08:00

A quick stop at the Sundial Bridge in Redding, CA

Art appreciation at the bridge.

A little reading along the way. This is really only one of two things Axel has enjoyed while riding in the car.

Driving from Oregon to Washington via the Astoria Megler Bridge.

It's a long bridge!

A lookout point in Anacortes, WA.

Happy, tired family.

Finally!

Waiting in line for the ferry.

Our first ferry!

It was windy, but warm(ish).

Enjoying the view of Downtown Seattle.

We are now in Portland for several days. Ram is taking a Bonsai class through Thursday, so Axel and I are hanging out at the bed and breakfast and resting. I am sure we will go out a bit, but not too much. We finally got 2 naps today. It has been the first time for that since we left and the first day of good naps. This boy does not sleep well in the car. It will be nice to have a break from the road for a few days before we begin the journey home on Friday.

Please, Mommy, can I go outside and play?

2010-02-06T20:30:00.000-08:00

Axel has spent quite a bit of time these past couple weeks here, watching his daddy work in the back yard. I am amazed at his attention span when he is at the back door. He just loves to see what is going on and to wave (his new skill this week) to Daddy. Today, he was asking me to go out there and make a mess. So, we put on his play clothes and let him loose.

A couple of minutes on the dead grass touching Daddy's trees, then...

We found the big dirt pile.

Crawling up and scooting down on his tummy. He had fun touching the dirt with his hands.

He didn't eat any until he rolled down the hill and faceplanted on a dirt clod. Then, he chewed a little bit of that gritty dirt.

Mmmmm, dirt!

Sopping Wet

2010-01-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

It had been raining here for days, and Axel really wanted to get out and help in the yard. So, we bundled up and headed out. He had so much fun crawling around in the puddles and playing with the wet leaves. After about 10 minutes, Axel was sopping wet and starting to feel cold around the edges, so we went in and took a nice, hot shower.

It is so exciting that Axel is getting big wnough to explore outside more freely. He doesn't automatically put everything in his mouth, so I feel much more comfortable letting him down. Hopefully, we will have our back yard done in time for lots of playing outside in the spring.

Uh Oh!

2010-01-29T14:43:00.001-08:00

I think we have a rebel on our hands!

Pay no attention to the snotty nose.

Apple Hill Fall 09

2010-01-24T15:59:00.000-08:00

Whatever cousin B said, it must have been hillarious!

Playtime

2010-01-18T20:50:00.000-08:00

Axel mostly likes to follow Mommy around the house getting into our cabinets and other things rather than his own toys. He prefers to play with his toys when I or Daddy is in his room with him, but he doesn't really care for me to play with him. I think he just likes my presence while he figures things out on his own. Daddy, on the other hand, is VERY fun to play with.

Axel loves to throw all of his books on the floor........

.......and eat them.

We have lots of colorful buckets, that we stack to make a tower or fill with other toys.

The smaller pieces are Axel's favorite. He likes to keep them in his grip, as he crawls around the house following me.

The face of the sweetest little boy I know.

Painting with Food

2010-01-18T20:37:00.000-08:00

I had planned on cooking this beet and feeding it to Axel for dinner, but it just didn't seem right. It wasn't cooking like I thought it should. So, I decided he would paint with the beautiful color instead.

He did eat a piece, and he actually did not seem to mind it all that much.

This is the extent of his use of the paintbrush.

Axel had a fun time making pretty pictures, while I was making dinner.

The finished piece is just beautiful. I think it will make a nice valentine's day card for someone special in Axel's life.

It turns out the beet just needed a little more boiling to be edible. Maybe we'll try it again next week.

10 Month Appointment

2010-01-07T16:38:00.000-08:00

10 months

21 pounds 5 ounces

31 inches

a little finger prick

and no crying.

2010

2010-01-05T20:48:00.001-08:00

Look Mommy, I found my curtains!
Just one more way Axel can avoid taking his nap. Playing with and chewing on the curtains.
Here's to many new adventures in the coming year. Happy New Year!

Axel's First Christmas

2010-01-05T19:38:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve, we went to my parents' house like we always do. It was an evening of yummy food, the reading of the story of Jesus' birth and the opening of some gifts. This was Axel's first time seeing presents. He was a bit perplexed, but liked the crinkly paper. We had to fish bits of it from his mouth several times. Axel received a fun toy from Grandma and Grandpa. Now he has something colorful and noisy to play with whenever he goes to their house. My mom also made him the sweetest blanket and pillow. I just adore them. More to come on that at a later time.
Christmas morning, we woke up and looked at our tree with no gifts under it. Axel loved it just the same.

We then went to Ram's parents' house for Christmas Day. We ate a great breakfast and opened more gifts. The kids had a lot of fun. It gave us a little taste of what Chistmas will be like as we keep adding to the number of kids in the family.

It was quite a challenge to get a good photo without one of the babies being blurry. Cousins B and B just added tp the fun of the day.

What a fun day!

The same went for the family shot. I think it will be years before we have a shot where something isn't blurry.

We had such a great First Christmas with Axel. I am looking forward to many Christmases with my little family.

Interruption

2009-12-30T10:42:00.000-08:00

Axel in his kitchen bed while mommy tries to get some kitchen chores done.

This week has not been what I had anticipated as both Ram and Axel have been sick. Usually, I am able to take care of Ram a bit more when he is under the weather, but, this time, he has had to do without as most of my efforts have been aimed at taking care of Axel. This is his first real illness, aside from the fever and rash 3 months ago. Now, we have full blown cough, cold and fever. I am sure his throat hurts, too. Poor little guy. Once again, though, we realize what an easy baby Axel is. I have only had to get up with him one extra time at night. I have heard him moaning and coughing a bit from my temporary bed on the couch, but I don't think he is waking all the way. Much better than I expected!

It hasn't helped that the washing machine stopped working the other day. There goes money I didn't want to spend! Hopefully, it will be an easy fix. They say, When it rains, it pours." I hope this is the end of it for now.

In all, I am trying to enjoy this week for what it is. After all, I have a usually uncuddly baby wanting to be held and comforted a bit extra. So, as I sit and enjoy his warm little body curled up on mine, I thank God for the opportunity to take some time to slow down and give more of myself to the ones who need it most.

The Mobile

2009-12-25T18:59:00.001-08:00

Santa (Daddy) spent some time in his workshop making a nice gift for Axel's first Christmas.

Axel just sat there staring and smiling at his new toy.

Christmas in the City

2009-12-20T14:24:00.001-08:00

Following a very cold and foggy walk to catch the 7 am train to San Francisco, we were off to spend a couple of days admiring the holiday lights.

Axel and I sat and looked at the lights in Union Square while we waited for Daddy to finish up at work.

Then, we had a late dinner where, thankfully, Axel was entertained by a balloon string the WHOLE meal.

We always enjoy meandering through the hustle of the crowded city just before Christmas. Of course, we really enjoy coming back to our quiet home and sleeping in our own cozy bed, too.

Art Appreciation

2009-12-20T13:54:00.000-08:00

This time in San Francisco, Ram and I spent an extra day, so that we could have some time during the day together, since he is usually working. Saturday, we visited the gift shop of the Contemporary Museum. We really only had time to swing by to appreciate the architecture of this new addition to the city's landscape.

We then visited the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (SFMoMA). We had not been there since the new rooftop garden has been open. It was such a beautiful day! We were able to see some great pieces of work, including:

Alexander Calder, Etablissements Biémont, Big Crinkly, 1969

Barnett Newman, Donald Lippincott ZIM ZUM 1, 1969

Robert Arneson No Pain, 1991

The elements used in the structure of the garden were beautiful. I tried to pretend we were in our own back yard enjoying an afternoon of sunshine.

Kiki Smith Virgin Mary, 1993

Axel was so intrugued by this lady who did not move and was all one color. I could tell he was perplexed. Somehow, he knoew it was a human, but different.

Nine Months Old

2009-12-10T16:02:00.000-08:00

This months has been so much like all the rest in that we never have a moment to savor the present without seeing how much Axel is growing and changing every day. He is standing at the front door instead of sitting and is rarely still laying down in his crib by the time I get in there when he wakes up. I would imagine that it won't be long at all before he takes his first steps. Though, I don;t think it will be in this next month.

To celebrate this nine month milestone, we had spinach and brussel sprouts. Above is some fun Axel had with the bag over his face. We thought he would hate our gifts (I shuttered as I tasted the pureed greens), but he seemed to enjoy these as well. Seems like our little guy will eat any green thing put in his path. No doubt he will grow up to be big and strong.

Happy 3/4 of a year, my little sweetheart. I love you more and more each day.

The Weather Outside Is...

2009-12-10T15:57:00.000-08:00

Freezing!

But, oh so beautiful.
We love staying cozy in our little house when it's frosty outside.

First Snow

2009-12-07T10:41:00.000-08:00

This morning, we woke up to Axel's first snow! We had just enough for a snow man on the top of the car. Axel was intrigued, but not amazed.

I think the little guy will be melted by noon.

First Day Back

2009-12-04T14:20:00.000-08:00

After a long and wonderful 10 month maternity leave, I returned to work today. I was not looking forward to it (I could be a stay at home mom, for sure), but it went really well. I did not even plan on having any clients, as I was just going to do some Christmas decorating and get myself settled back into the space. I did end up having one client come in for a facial, which I really enjoyed.

My mom is planning to do childcare for me one day a week for a few hours, so I can work about a half of a day. Right now, this is all the work I plan to do. Axel is still nursing full time, and I really don't want to leave him any more than that. I missed my little boy, but I am so comfortable leaving him with his grandma that I didn't worry a bit. It was fun to be making a little bit of money, too.

Thank you, Mom, for taking care of my baby!

'Tis The Season

2009-12-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had the urge to go to the garage and get the Christmas decorations out. If you have known me for any amount of time, you know that this is rare. We have not had at real tree for 9 years and have decorated this fake one maybe twice. I am positive this new festive feeling is because I am a mommy now. I want my child to have something sparkly to gaze at and to feel the excitement of the season, as we celebrate the winter in all it's beauty and the birth of Jesus later this month.

So, when it began to get dark, Axel and I walked around the house lighting candles and enjoying their glow.

After Axel went to bed, Ram and I got to decorating. It didn't take long, given the scope of the project, but we had fun. This tree does not in any way help to hide the wires of the lights, so we just embraced it and had our fun.

It looks so beautiful to me. I was so excited to show the finished product to Axel the next morning.

Here is his first look.

He seems happy with our efforts.

It's just out of his reach. Hopefully, he won't learn to climb in the next month.

Chewing

2009-11-30T16:19:00.001-08:00

While discussing the foods we give our babies, a friend of mine said, " Wait, you break Axel's 'O's into pieces?"

Well, yes, I was until then. Until about two weeks ago, Axel would gag on everything of size that I put in his mouth if it wasn't baby food texture. So, not enjoying the gagging, I had been breaking his Joe's 'O's into quarters. I decided maybe I was babying him a bit too much. So we moved up to halfs for a week. Axel proved himself a total animal when it comes to chewing. So, now we are onto full 'O's as well as bite sized pieces of bread and overcooked veggies. I even have him playing with his fork with little bits of cheese on it.

My very favorite is when Axel gets a piece on his face and has does not know it is there. We adults are so paranoid of food on our faces. He just sits there without a clue. It's really too cute for words.

Apparently, Axel thinks he is ready for big food. He enjoyed the mandarin peel quite a bit.

Of course, I had to fish a piece out of his mouth.

We Are So Thankful

2009-11-26T20:41:00.000-08:00

There are many things I am thankful for this year, and every year. Family, friends, a home, employment, and all the other blessings I have. But, there is nothing I am more thankful for than my two boys. The two that I spend each day with. We laugh, we cry, we play, we share our lives. I cannot fathom being without these boys. They are my loves. Thank you, God, for my little family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

And He's Up

2009-11-25T16:09:00.001-08:00

The other night, Axel and Ram were roughhousing on the bed and Axel just decided to hold onto daddy and stand up. Then, a few minutes later, I undressed Axel in preparation for his bath and made him sit down on the bathroom rug. I then turned to the tub to start the water, and when I turned back around, he was in the process of pulling himself onto his feet! I know these things happen with no warning, but I did not see this one coming at all.

Since then, everywhere he goes, Axel wants to stand up. I am now starting to understand what people mean when they say that their child is into everything. Thankfully, we have planned ahead and have very little stuff for him to get into. If I need to limit his access, I just close a couple of doors.

We have had many bumps already, with no sign of those letting up. Axel has yet to learn that it is easy to fall when you get distracted and let go of the couch, the tub or the rails. We may have a little adventurer on our hands.

Teeth

2009-11-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

It has taken us so long to get any photos of those tiny little teeth. Axel now has four teeth, but has kept them hidden from the world until now. These two photos are the best we have been able to get. Each time we see an opportunity, the camera comes out, and Axel sealed his mouth shut. During a bit of fun, Axel finally lost his awareness of the camera. We got a couple good shots of the one upper that was really showing.

However, that was not good enough for us mean parents, so we forced a pose to show those teeth in all their glory.

Since then, the fourth one has come out and is now about the size of the upper tooth that you see in this photo.

Portland

2009-11-11T11:05:00.000-08:00

On November 2, we took a five day trip to Portland. It was a nice time for the three of us to get away and enjoy one of our favorite cities. Ram and I were in Portland a little over a year ago while I was pregnant with Axel. In fact, it was the first place that I felt the tiny baby inside of me move around and kick me. I must admit, being pregnant made me quite a home body, so a trip out of town was difficult for me to fully enjoy. The fondest memory of the first trip was feeling that little kick inside. It was such a joy to walk around the city this time with my little baby on the outside, taking in all the sights with me.

Getting ready to go on our trip was a family affair. Axel really got into packing this time, literally. I was able to fit all of our clothes plus Axel's food in this one suit case. That was really nice, since I also had a stroller, car seat, and backpack. Any more than this and we would not have had such an easy time taking the train and then bus to our B&B.

Little Mister has grown quite attached to my necklace. Here he is reaching out of his nursing cover on the plane, looking for something to twiddle his fingers in.

So, we went to The Original, a new restaurant in Portland, that serves traditional favorites with a twist in a very modern setting. The calories displayed are astronomical, I am sure, but we had to give it a try. If you know Ram, you know he has to try a cheeseburger, if it offers something unique. This one did just that. Yes, this is a cheeseburger made with a glazed doughnut as the bun. Interesting combination of flavors, but strangely good. This was the first and the last one Ram ever eats.

Axel drinking out of the famous spring water fountains, many of which are spread throughout the city.

A spectacular Portland view from atop the aerial tram tower.

Getting ready to board the tram.

We love Portland for it's great public transportation and walkability. This time of year was so beautiful. There is so much nature in and around the city.

At a great brew house for our last lunch in Portland. Right after this photo, Axel slammed his moth right against the table, resulting in screaming and the need for me to walk him around for 10 minutes while dabbing the blood from his lip. Poor baby. this marked our first bad restaurant experience with him. Not bad that it took 8 months for it to happen.

Happy again with daddy.

We didn't get to spend a lot of time with Ram on this trip, as he was taking a bonsai workshop, but the time we did have with him was fun. After our last lunch, we walked to get a voodoo doughnut. We came across this bronze sculpture in a park along the way. Last time we were in Portland, I thought that the baby in my tummy would love to see this elephant-like creature some day.

Eight Months Old: part 2

2009-11-10T13:43:00.000-08:00

Axel is 2/3 of a year old, and it's showing. In the last week, he has been crawling on his hands and knees, has a third tooth with the fourth on it's way and is getting into everything. Last night, while I was cooking dinner, I opened his cabinet in the kitchen so he could make a mess. That he did. After a couple of minutes of spacing out and not paying much attention, I looked over to find Axel in the cabinet, reaching for the last of it's contents stashed away in the very back.

Eight Months Old

2009-11-08T17:17:00.000-08:00

This month has been a great month for us. Axel has been growing so much, I don't know where to begin. I decided early in the month that it was time for night nursings to come to an end. So, after a couple of nights of crying for an hour or so around 3 am, Axel learned that he can go back to sleep on his own. He has been doing it ever since. For the last 2 weeks, he has not been waking up in the middle of the night anymore. We now have a baby who, almost nightly, sleeps from 6:30 or 7 pm to 6:30 or 7:30 am! Quite amazing and quite enjoyable, I must say.

Axel has become so quick with his scooting. He goes everywhere he can. Toward the end of the month, he began crawling on all fours. He likes to go under his ottoman to find his toys. We set up a mirror so that he can see himself playing in the living room. He loves that little baby looking back at his. He smiles and shakes his head at him. He kisses that little baby and even sometimes tries to bump heads with him. It is so funny to watch.

Axel's favorite place lately has to be the front door. He love to crawl over there and just sit and watch. I think he is looking for cars driving by as well as just looking at the leaves on the bamboo. Sometimes, I get down on the floor with him and look out. What a different perspective: looking at the world from down there. We celebrated my 31st birthday in the middle of October. The family party was at my parents' house. I was so excited to get to pose for this family birthday photo! I will cherish it forever!

Halloween was fun. Axel has a little suit that my brother, Ben, and his girlfriend, Kiki, bought for him in China. We spent the evening at some friends' house with their little pumpkin. The babies were hilarious. They mostly just relaxed on the floor in their costumes.

Axel is such a joy! Now with three teeth and a fourth on it's way, he is looking so grown up. I just love my little boy.

Seven Months Old

2009-10-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Today marks 7 months that our little Axel has been breathing the same air and sharing the same home with me and Ram. This month, I have thought a lot about the time, 42 weeks to be exact, that he was with us before that. How strange to carry someone inside of me for so long without knowing him, or her for all I knew then. He was my little sweetheart then, and he is so much more now.

This month has been a big month of development. Axel is now scooting enough to get around on his own. He enjoys discovering the different rooms in our house and all the things he can barely reach.

We have a very small house, so I just let him down on the ground when I am doing chores. He can go anywhere and won't be far. The other day, I left him in his room on is tummy. When I returned, he was sitting up in his doorway. I have attached a photo of that. He was so proud, which I think you can tell by the giant tongue sticking out. We are also doing a very loose version of EC (elimination communication). We aren't strict, but make an effort to allow Axel to use the potty when we pick up on cues that he has to go. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but he enjoys his time on the potty playing patty-cake and the itsy bitsy spider.

We have also started on solid foods. Axel has always been a good eater, so I didn't expect any less when we started big boy food. He has been eyeing the food and drink we put in our mouths for quite some time. Lately, he even pants and begs for a bite of his own. So, starting with some rice and moving forward, we are now eating squash, sweet potatoes, pears, avocado, banana, plain yogurt and green beans. Aside from the yogurt, I am making all of his food instead of buying baby food. I feel so good about this and really love making it. At this point, all it really takes is some time steaming and a go in the vita mix. The other day, I made green beans, which he loved. The color was so beautiful when I put that puree in his bowl! It looked especially sweet all over Axel's face.

Another trip to San Francisco gave us a little time away. Axel and I explored another area of the city and had a very nice day. He slept in my arms on the train; he never sleeps in my arms, so this was very special to me. I walked some major hills pushing his stroller. Finally, we visited Daddy at work and took a nap under the desk. He was so tired, he slept right through the fire drill. We are so excited for the cooler weather. We can again use the sleepy wrap when we go out. It is so cozy and cuddly. I have also found a second use for the swimming pool. It works great for containment when we go outside to play. I don't expect this will last too much longer, as Axel will be climbing out soon. We love this time of year and look forward to sharing it with Axel. Hopefully, we will make it out quite a bit to celebrate the beauty that comes with the cold air.

Our Trip to Las Vegas

2009-10-07T16:52:00.000-07:00

Today, I thought I would send out a little email about our trip to Las Vegas. We visited Sandra and Austin the middle of September for a week. We had a great time. Sandra got her baby time, but I think she still wanted a bit more when we left. While we were there, we visited the strip (which I don't care to ever see again), Hoover Dam, and Mount Charleston. The Hoover Dam is so huge. It was so hot out there. What a job that must have been to work out there year round with only two days off per year! Mount Charleston was so refreshing. It was about 70 degrees and windy up there. What a nice break from the heat of the desert. Most of the time, we just spent at the house hanging out and playing. Austin did his best trying to explain to Axel how to crawl, but Axel didn't seem to want to listen.

The trip marked Axel's first ride on an airplane. He did so well. On the trip out there, we gave him an unopened bag of pretzels and his own seat, and he was occupied the whole time. The photo of him in the plane is one of my all time favorites. As our trip was about to end, Axel came down with a fever. By the time we were home, he was covered in a sad little rash that turned out to be Roseola. He was such a trooper. He barely made any complaints and after a couple nights of being uncomfortable while trying to sleep, we were back to normal.

The following week, Sandra and Austin showed up here for the weekend. It was my mom's birthday, so she got a big surprise when she showed up at the pizza place to see Sandra and Austin there too. It was a weekend full of surprises for my mom, including another surprise party on Saturday including about 35 of her good friends. So, we were glad to get a lot of Auntie Sandra and Cousin Austin time this last month. I hope that Austin and Axel get to have lots of cousin time so they can be great friends, even if they are 9 years apart.

Six Months Old

2009-09-09T16:49:00.000-07:00

Axel is really six months old now, and I have some time, so.....

Here are a couple bonus photos. The one is really blurry, but so funny. They were having so much fun I couldn't get a clear shot.

Almost Six Months

2009-09-02T16:15:00.000-07:00

Well, this month came and went quickly. I am sending the 6 month email a little early, because we are leaving on the 9th for Las Vegas for a week. I know things will get hectic with packing, so here we are. Ram, Axel and I are going to spend a week with my sister, Sandra, and Austin, our nephew. We are so excited to see them, as they are us. Austin and Sandra met Axel during Easter break and have not seem him since. They miss him a lot. It will be so fun to show them how big Axel has gotten and all the new "tricks" he has.

This month has been the biggest month of accomplishments so far. Axel has started sitting up for minutes at a time. He is scooting backward around the house; sometime he gets himself into things when I am not looking. i anticipate that this will become much more frequent. He keeps pulling his knees under and getting on all fours, but then proceeds to fall on his face. Soon, I think he will figure out what to do with himself and crawl. I also started giving him some rice in the afternoons. He really likes it, despite the pictures from his first taste. I am planning to make all of his food instead of buying it. So far, that has been fun. Next on the list is sweet potato! I don't think we are going to have any trouble getting this kid to eat!

Earlier this month, we went to the Nevada County Fair up in Grass Valley. This has always been a yearly tradition for me and Ram. We look at the animals, art and other displays, walk through the carnival area, and, most importantly, eat the food!!! I had a corndog, a pasty and a cinnamon roll for dessert. Mind you, that was 2 meals. Axel did not have a clue where he was, but we took him to see the horses, cows and chickens. We showed him the carnival lights, and allowed him to suck the condensation off the outside of our giant pepsi cup. It was more fun for us than him, but all the same, it was the beginning of a new era of one of our favorite outings of the year. Ram and I also have a collection of photo booth strips. We do that every year. It was the highlight of the day for me to get into that booth, the three of us this year, and make our silly faces.

We also took Axel to his first bonsai show last weekend. This also has become an annual tradition as Ram practices the art of bonsai in his spare time. It was a super hot day in a veterans hall with no air conditioner or circulation. But, we had fun and stopped in Sonoma on our way home for Mary's pizza, another annual treat.

I am so looking forward to the coming months. I love the fall and winter. Looking out the window to watch the rain will be something I plan on doing with Axel and the following children for years to come. I can't wait to introduce him the the refreshing water falling from the sky. And then, of course, our first year of holidays with Axel. We are planning a trip to Portland and then a big trip to Japan in the winter...... More to come on that. Life is beautiful and full of beauty and love. Thank you for reading.

Nevada County Fair 2009

2009-09-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

Five Months

2009-08-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

What fun it is to be parents. Ram and I are so happy that we have our little Axel. He is such a joy and such a good boy. Sleeping has been going well. Eating is going well. Axel is learning to travel and sleep in hotels. He is still growing at a rapid rate. I think he's about 18 pounds now, about the 95th percentile for his height, weight and head circumference. So many people comment that his dad must be really big......uh, not really. Ram is tall (6'1") and thin, so I think Axel will just follow suit.

When he is on the floor, Axel likes to play with his little toys and roll over front to back and back to front. He has really started displaying signs that he wants to scoot around a bit, too. He pulls his knees up under his bottom and tries his best, but isn't quite there yet. We are going to visit my sister Sandra and nephew Austin in about 5 weeks. I am hoping by then he will be a little bit mobile, since I know Austin would LOVE that. We are also working on sitting up, which is fun, too. Most of the time, Axel just notices his toes and folds himself in half to get to them. Did I mention that his toes are his very favrite chew toy? I was looking forward to the toe sucking since I was pregnant. I just love it.

As some of you know, we have had a very difficult month as we lost a good friend in a tragic accident. Axel has been such a joy and delight to Ram, especially during a very painful time. The first few days, we could see that Axel was picking up on some of the stress as he was extra fussy. But that passed quickly and his little smile has brought many smiles to us in our time of need. I am so thankful to God for keeping my husband, Axel's father, safe. Life is so precious, as Ram is to me and Axel. I can't imagine our life without him. We will miss Ray. I am so thankful for the good friend that he was to Ram.

To keep daddy company, Axel and I spent the better part of two weeks in San Francisco while Ram worked during the day and spent time with us in the evening. We spent a lot of time in the hotel room keeping naps somewhat scheduled and going out to get food for mommy every once in a while. Axel did so great! He slept just like he does at home and hardly ever cried during the days. We spent one day at the Aademy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park with Ram's family. We had a great time. Axel didn't have a clue, I am sure. But, we acted like he did, showing him animals and fish. Ram and I went there when I was pregnant. At one point, as we were walking through the muggy, hot rainforest, I told him, "Next time we come here, you are carrying this baby." He did just that. It was a really fun day.

Thank you for reading my latest journal entry. I could go on, but know it would bore most of you.
Take care and say "I love you" to everyone you love.

Four Months

2009-07-08T17:19:00.000-07:00

Like a flash, month 4 went by. We had so much fun this month and are enjoying watching Axel grow. He is learning so much each day and getting so strong. This month included trips to San Francisco, which went very well as our first overnight trip, and a trip to the Yuba River for the day. Axel had more fun this time and even spent time in the water. At home, he is enjoying his pool on the front porch and baths in the tub. It is my hope that Axel loves the water from the start. When I was pregnant, I loved all things water. I took at least one bath a day (usually two) and never felt more at peace than when I was in the river. I hope that planted a seed.

Axel has really started to enjoy his toys as he is on his tummy a lot more. He sometimes likes to take breaks and rest his head on his little toy turtle. His favorite toys are still the ones on the ends of his arms and legs. A big discovery this month was that his toes are always there and always available to suck on. This is how Axel now spends much of his waking hours. When his tongue is not licking something or someone, it is usually in what we call the puppy dog position. He knows how cute we think it is and shamelessly entertains us with that wet little thing.

Axel and his little cousin have spent some time together, but still need much more time before they really know who they are staring at. it is pretty cute to watch them lay next to each other, though. I am so looking forward to them running around the yard chasing after each other!

We are having so much fun with our little sweet boy. Thank you all for the love and care for us.

Three Months Old

2009-06-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

Axel is three months now, and still growing. I think he is about 15 1/2 or 16 pounds. He has moved up to size 3 diapers and is in 6 month clothing for the most part. I love having a big baby!

This month, we have started to see some real development as Axel started to realize that he owns his hands and feet and can make them do things. He started sucking on them, and eventually settled on his thumb, at least for now. All of a sudden, he started liking tummy time for longer than 30 seconds and just recently has been actually enjoying it. He is rolling over both ways, but only sometimes. It seems like he forgets he can do it when he is tired or too frustrated. It is so fun to watch him grow.

Axel had his first visit to the Yuba River outside of Nevada City. This is one our very favorite places to go in the summer. It is also the place that inspired Axel's middle name. The water was still very cold. The second those little toes touched it, out came a screech and the legs recoiled. Really, we weren't trying to torture him, just introduce him to the water. It is our hope that, over time, and many family trips, Axel will grow to love this place as we do.

In honor of his big cousin and brave cancer warrior, Austin, Axel finally got to wear his orange Austin shirt. All the boys have one, so it was only natural to make a onesie to match. Axel is so loved by his Austin. One day, he will get to learn al about cars and riding 4 wheelers from his big cousin.
Axel has spent a couple of afternoons with his cousin Berkeley as well. For Mother's Day, she wore a sweet little bonnet handed down from her mommy. They are super cute together. We look forward to the days when they play together and love seeing each other.
Ram and I are adjusting well. We tried to go out for a date a couple of weeks ago, but that plan was foiled when Axel decided to refuse a bottle once we left him with my parents. Since then, he still will not take a bottle, or anything other than me. So much for any dates in the near future. We're still trying the bottle, hoping he will eventually become willing to take it. Other than the bottle, he is doing so well. Sleeping long nights and trying his best to talk to us during the day. I just love the squeaks and squeals!

Our boy is so precious to us. We are so thankful each day for what God gave to us in his little soul.