Showing posts with label home birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home birth. Show all posts
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Birth of Autumn Rain
We decided to take a walk, just Axel and I, to the store for some chocolate ice cream. The ice cream that would become my second castor oil shake. Just like the boy holding my hand as we walked down our street, this baby was taking his or her sweet time making an entrance, and I felt I had to do something. I was 41 weeks 5 days pregnant and hoping that the next morning drinking the castor oil shake would work as well as it did to bring on Axel's birth.
It was a special walk with Axel. I was aware it would probably be the last time I would hold his hand as my only child. Tomorrow he would be a big brother. I did my best to memorize that tiny hand in mine. Remembering the special time we had shared for the past 19 months, so much of it just me and him. Now, we would be expanding our family to four. Could we love the next one just as much?
As it turns out......yes we could......
October 20, 2010 I took a little longer in the morning to make and drink the shake than I had planned. Maybe it was my nerves, but I spent the morning resting and getting a couple of little things done. I ate a mild lunch and got out the blender. Chocolate ice cream, peanut butter and 4 ounces of castor oil. Axel was napping, so I sat down on the couch and started drinking. Yuck! It didn't help that the peanut butter I used was chunky. I drank about 3/4 of the shake and called it good. I told Ram that it had better be enough to work, because I couldn't drink any more without throwing it all back up. It was enough. In about two hours time, labor was in full swing. Most of it is a blur to me. My labors start off hard and don't let up, so there has never been any standing or walking during labor other than barely managing to get to the bed or the birthing stool or the tub. I spent a couple hours laboring on the bed with Ram next to me until Sheila, our midwife, arrived and gave the okay to get the tub full. Finally, water! I loved being in the tub. Since my first experience with Axel's birth in the tub was so great, I knew that is where I had to be this time too. The pain was still just as strong once I was in the water, but I was able to bear the pain so much easier. It provided just enough relief for me to make it to the pushing stage.
All during labor, Ram sat beside me reminding me to breath and giving me drinks of water. He has a t shirt that he wears for each labor that reads "This too will pass". I love that shirt. I focus on the words across the chest of my wonderful husband and know that I can do this, that I was created to do this and that it will be over soon. His support and presence gives me such a peace during the pain.
I began feeling like I was wearing out and was afraid to say out loud that I didn't know how much longer I could do this. I knew it had only been about 5 hours since labor began, so I was afraid that I had hours (and maybe more hours) until it was over. I expressed my concerns and Sheila reminded me that when you feel like you can't do it any more, it's probably because you're almost there. I thought I felt like pushing, but was just too afraid to get my hopes up only to be told I was dilated to a 5 or 6. We decided to check my cervix. To my relief, I was ready to go. Sheila told me I could feel the baby's head coming down the birth canal and get myself ready to push. The most amazing part of the birth experience for me was to be able to check my own cervix and feel the baby's head descending down and out of the birth canal. Like a little bowling ball with a little bit of hair, passing through like a slow, slow freight train. That's the picture I had in my head. The train part is because I knew there was no stopping it; it seemed to have all the force of a fully loaded freight train coming down the tracks. It was incredible. My first time touching my new child.
I stayed in the tub and pushed for about thirty minutes. The experience from Axel's birth helped me to make my pushing more effective. It was much easier the second time around. After about 6 hours of laboring, out came our new little baby. Just as the baby was about to come out, my mom was able to bring Axel into the room so he could watch his new sibling being born. After a little bit of confusion because of the umbillical cord being down between the baby's legs, Sheila helped Ram get a clear look at the baby to see that we had a baby girl. She was ours, and we could hold her in our arms and see her with our eyes. What a relief to finally have her in our family.
I had invited everyone who was at our house at the time to come in to watch the baby come out. It was so special for me to share the experience with my mom, sister April and brother Ben. Ben was in the room most of the labor, as he photographed the event.
After she was born, a couple people helped me out of the tub and took me to lay down in the bed to deliver the placenta and to rest with my new sweet heart. This little girl, the most beautiful I had ever seen, stole our hearts from the start. So sweet, so precious and so feminine, she was radiant from the first moment.
Autumn Rain Lukas
born at home
in the water
in her room
October 20, 2010
It was a special walk with Axel. I was aware it would probably be the last time I would hold his hand as my only child. Tomorrow he would be a big brother. I did my best to memorize that tiny hand in mine. Remembering the special time we had shared for the past 19 months, so much of it just me and him. Now, we would be expanding our family to four. Could we love the next one just as much?
As it turns out......yes we could......
October 20, 2010 I took a little longer in the morning to make and drink the shake than I had planned. Maybe it was my nerves, but I spent the morning resting and getting a couple of little things done. I ate a mild lunch and got out the blender. Chocolate ice cream, peanut butter and 4 ounces of castor oil. Axel was napping, so I sat down on the couch and started drinking. Yuck! It didn't help that the peanut butter I used was chunky. I drank about 3/4 of the shake and called it good. I told Ram that it had better be enough to work, because I couldn't drink any more without throwing it all back up. It was enough. In about two hours time, labor was in full swing. Most of it is a blur to me. My labors start off hard and don't let up, so there has never been any standing or walking during labor other than barely managing to get to the bed or the birthing stool or the tub. I spent a couple hours laboring on the bed with Ram next to me until Sheila, our midwife, arrived and gave the okay to get the tub full. Finally, water! I loved being in the tub. Since my first experience with Axel's birth in the tub was so great, I knew that is where I had to be this time too. The pain was still just as strong once I was in the water, but I was able to bear the pain so much easier. It provided just enough relief for me to make it to the pushing stage.
All during labor, Ram sat beside me reminding me to breath and giving me drinks of water. He has a t shirt that he wears for each labor that reads "This too will pass". I love that shirt. I focus on the words across the chest of my wonderful husband and know that I can do this, that I was created to do this and that it will be over soon. His support and presence gives me such a peace during the pain.
I began feeling like I was wearing out and was afraid to say out loud that I didn't know how much longer I could do this. I knew it had only been about 5 hours since labor began, so I was afraid that I had hours (and maybe more hours) until it was over. I expressed my concerns and Sheila reminded me that when you feel like you can't do it any more, it's probably because you're almost there. I thought I felt like pushing, but was just too afraid to get my hopes up only to be told I was dilated to a 5 or 6. We decided to check my cervix. To my relief, I was ready to go. Sheila told me I could feel the baby's head coming down the birth canal and get myself ready to push. The most amazing part of the birth experience for me was to be able to check my own cervix and feel the baby's head descending down and out of the birth canal. Like a little bowling ball with a little bit of hair, passing through like a slow, slow freight train. That's the picture I had in my head. The train part is because I knew there was no stopping it; it seemed to have all the force of a fully loaded freight train coming down the tracks. It was incredible. My first time touching my new child.
I stayed in the tub and pushed for about thirty minutes. The experience from Axel's birth helped me to make my pushing more effective. It was much easier the second time around. After about 6 hours of laboring, out came our new little baby. Just as the baby was about to come out, my mom was able to bring Axel into the room so he could watch his new sibling being born. After a little bit of confusion because of the umbillical cord being down between the baby's legs, Sheila helped Ram get a clear look at the baby to see that we had a baby girl. She was ours, and we could hold her in our arms and see her with our eyes. What a relief to finally have her in our family.
I had invited everyone who was at our house at the time to come in to watch the baby come out. It was so special for me to share the experience with my mom, sister April and brother Ben. Ben was in the room most of the labor, as he photographed the event.
After she was born, a couple people helped me out of the tub and took me to lay down in the bed to deliver the placenta and to rest with my new sweet heart. This little girl, the most beautiful I had ever seen, stole our hearts from the start. So sweet, so precious and so feminine, she was radiant from the first moment.
Autumn Rain Lukas
born at home
in the water
in her room
October 20, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Newborn Portraits
A good friend of mine, Anna http://www.lifestopphoto.com took some amazing photos of Autumn (and me and Axel) in our house. She had a vision of capturing the space in which we live. I think she did a great job. By the way, aren't my babies beautiful?Thursday, November 11, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Castor Oil
Well, the time has come. I can hardly stomach the shake this time, as I have the memory of it from Axel's birth. I just cannot see another option at this time. Hopefully, things will get going quickly and not even run into the night like last time.
I am feeling quite fearful of how this may go, since the castor oil could make me pretty sick for a few hours. My biggest fear is not the labor, but the possibility of puking. I do want to meet my little baby, though. What's a few hours of yuck in the long run, right?
Please be praying for us.
I am feeling quite fearful of how this may go, since the castor oil could make me pretty sick for a few hours. My biggest fear is not the labor, but the possibility of puking. I do want to meet my little baby, though. What's a few hours of yuck in the long run, right?
Please be praying for us.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Axel's Birth Story
It has been over a year and a half since Axel was born, and I have wanted to get this written out for some time. As I contemplate this impending second birth and how the story will unfold, it is a comfort to look back with such fondness to our first home birth experience.
So, here is the story of the home birth of Axel River.
It started with a video by Rikki Lake when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. Ram and I looked at each other, and he said, "Well, I guess we're having a home birth". I was surprised by his enthusiasm, since it was stronger than my own, but I didn't see any alternative. We found our midwives, Claudia and Jen, and we were in it.
What came about over the next months was a realization in my heart that I was meant to do this. I was meant to carry this baby in my womb. My body was designed and perfectly formed to do the work of nurturing and forming the child inside. So, naturally, this meant that I was perfectly equipped to give birth to him as well. I came to the strong opinion that no doctor or nurse, or anyone for that matter, could tell me what and how I needed to labor and deliver this child that I alone had been carrying and bonding with. We were a team, and we were made to do this together.
I knew from the beginning that God was telling me that He would guide me. That He had created my body so perfectly for giving birth to this child, and that He would help me get through it. I didn't need medication, or constant monitoring. I especially didn't need to be in a hospital. Rather, I needed to be in the most comfortable environment I could create, my own home. I believe with all of my heart that being here, in my nest, was the key to having such a beautiful and peaceful experience.
At 42 weeks, 1 day gestation, I was extremely anxious about getting this baby out, yet, still, no signs. I had spent the day in the rain, digging out old concrete from the yard. I was walking, and yes, I was doing the other things too. My midwives were really putting the pressure on me to get the show on the road. Much longer, and the baby could be in danger, which would have meant a trip to the hospital. So, after attempts at herbal remedies, pressure point and other stimulation, as well as acupuncture, I was down to my last option: CASTOR OIL! I was fearful, to say the least. I had been advised by nearly everyone except my midwives not to do it. But, when I had spent the last 9 months preparing to be at home, I was willing to try it.
So, at 42 weeks, 2 days we went on a morning walk as one last ditch effort. Nothing. I was at a loss. So, at half past noon, I made that castor oil shake. Several huge scoops of chocolate ice cream, a couple of dollops of peanut butter, a little milk and 3 ounces of castor oil! I drank it down. That walk was the last walk we would ever take, just the two of us...
Two hours after I finished that shake, labor began. Maybe two cramps and then labor, hard labor. Ram called the midwives to let them know something was happening. They said one them would be by in an hour or two to check in and see my progress. Ram called my mom to tell her I was in early labor. I said, "I don't think this is early labor". I sure hoped it wasn't. I couldn't imagine that real labor was harder than that. The only thing that helped me handle the pain was squeezing Ram finger or his thigh. The few times he couldn't be in the room during a contraction, I felt like I was going to lose it. When Jen got to our house to check me, she was surprised to see that I was laboring hard. Upon a check, she determined that I was dilated to 6. Good news for me. That meant I could get in the tub as soon as it was ready. I did just that, and stayed there for the next several hours.
The tub was like a miracle for me. The water was so soothing. I was able to float through my contractions. I had found my "roar" as they call it, and was making my noise of choice while floating in the tub. This was it. I was having a baby. I was in my baby's bedroom. I was doing it.
Much of what happened for those hours is a blur. I know our family was there in the living room. I know I ate frozen cubes of juice and chocolate pudding. I know the midwives had me get out of the tub and try some other positions and places, but all I wanted was that tub. As I floated there, Ram sat in front of me, calm as he always is. He wore his t shirt that reads, "This too, will pass" I stared at that shirt as I moaned. Just as the pain seemed to have taken all I could give, I had the strong urge to push. I was told to check my cervix to feel if there was any lip around the baby's head. What an amazing feeling! To feel my child's head moving downward through me. It gave me such a peace to feel his head right there. There was no lip. I was ready to push.
It took a while for me to figure out the pushing thing. Claudia would guide me and show me where to focus my efforts. From my vantage point, I could see the baby's head moving down with each push. Finally, after about 90 minutes of pushing, a tiny little baby slid out into the water, still in the unbroken sack (en caul). Claudia broke open the sack and handed the baby to me. He was a little gurgly, but crying. I called the family in to see. Photos were taken, everyone was so excited. I yelled out, "I still don't know if it's a girl or a boy". It took me a moment to get my bearings and turn the baby a bit to see that it was a boy! We all cheered! What a moment. I had my child in my arms. My husband was next to me with tears streaming down his cheeks. I was good. I was great. I had just faced serious pain and gone through it with the ones I loved most, my husband and my new little boy. We were a team, a team of three. We did it, I did it. I knew I could. Though I had my moments of doubt and others sure had theirs, I followed my heart and my convictions. God created me for this, and He lead us through it together. I wouldn't change that for anything.
So, here is the story of the home birth of Axel River.
It started with a video by Rikki Lake when I was about 12 weeks pregnant. Ram and I looked at each other, and he said, "Well, I guess we're having a home birth". I was surprised by his enthusiasm, since it was stronger than my own, but I didn't see any alternative. We found our midwives, Claudia and Jen, and we were in it.
What came about over the next months was a realization in my heart that I was meant to do this. I was meant to carry this baby in my womb. My body was designed and perfectly formed to do the work of nurturing and forming the child inside. So, naturally, this meant that I was perfectly equipped to give birth to him as well. I came to the strong opinion that no doctor or nurse, or anyone for that matter, could tell me what and how I needed to labor and deliver this child that I alone had been carrying and bonding with. We were a team, and we were made to do this together.
I knew from the beginning that God was telling me that He would guide me. That He had created my body so perfectly for giving birth to this child, and that He would help me get through it. I didn't need medication, or constant monitoring. I especially didn't need to be in a hospital. Rather, I needed to be in the most comfortable environment I could create, my own home. I believe with all of my heart that being here, in my nest, was the key to having such a beautiful and peaceful experience.
At 42 weeks, 1 day gestation, I was extremely anxious about getting this baby out, yet, still, no signs. I had spent the day in the rain, digging out old concrete from the yard. I was walking, and yes, I was doing the other things too. My midwives were really putting the pressure on me to get the show on the road. Much longer, and the baby could be in danger, which would have meant a trip to the hospital. So, after attempts at herbal remedies, pressure point and other stimulation, as well as acupuncture, I was down to my last option: CASTOR OIL! I was fearful, to say the least. I had been advised by nearly everyone except my midwives not to do it. But, when I had spent the last 9 months preparing to be at home, I was willing to try it.
So, at 42 weeks, 2 days we went on a morning walk as one last ditch effort. Nothing. I was at a loss. So, at half past noon, I made that castor oil shake. Several huge scoops of chocolate ice cream, a couple of dollops of peanut butter, a little milk and 3 ounces of castor oil! I drank it down. That walk was the last walk we would ever take, just the two of us...
Two hours after I finished that shake, labor began. Maybe two cramps and then labor, hard labor. Ram called the midwives to let them know something was happening. They said one them would be by in an hour or two to check in and see my progress. Ram called my mom to tell her I was in early labor. I said, "I don't think this is early labor". I sure hoped it wasn't. I couldn't imagine that real labor was harder than that. The only thing that helped me handle the pain was squeezing Ram finger or his thigh. The few times he couldn't be in the room during a contraction, I felt like I was going to lose it. When Jen got to our house to check me, she was surprised to see that I was laboring hard. Upon a check, she determined that I was dilated to 6. Good news for me. That meant I could get in the tub as soon as it was ready. I did just that, and stayed there for the next several hours.
The tub was like a miracle for me. The water was so soothing. I was able to float through my contractions. I had found my "roar" as they call it, and was making my noise of choice while floating in the tub. This was it. I was having a baby. I was in my baby's bedroom. I was doing it.
Much of what happened for those hours is a blur. I know our family was there in the living room. I know I ate frozen cubes of juice and chocolate pudding. I know the midwives had me get out of the tub and try some other positions and places, but all I wanted was that tub. As I floated there, Ram sat in front of me, calm as he always is. He wore his t shirt that reads, "This too, will pass" I stared at that shirt as I moaned. Just as the pain seemed to have taken all I could give, I had the strong urge to push. I was told to check my cervix to feel if there was any lip around the baby's head. What an amazing feeling! To feel my child's head moving downward through me. It gave me such a peace to feel his head right there. There was no lip. I was ready to push.
It took a while for me to figure out the pushing thing. Claudia would guide me and show me where to focus my efforts. From my vantage point, I could see the baby's head moving down with each push. Finally, after about 90 minutes of pushing, a tiny little baby slid out into the water, still in the unbroken sack (en caul). Claudia broke open the sack and handed the baby to me. He was a little gurgly, but crying. I called the family in to see. Photos were taken, everyone was so excited. I yelled out, "I still don't know if it's a girl or a boy". It took me a moment to get my bearings and turn the baby a bit to see that it was a boy! We all cheered! What a moment. I had my child in my arms. My husband was next to me with tears streaming down his cheeks. I was good. I was great. I had just faced serious pain and gone through it with the ones I loved most, my husband and my new little boy. We were a team, a team of three. We did it, I did it. I knew I could. Though I had my moments of doubt and others sure had theirs, I followed my heart and my convictions. God created me for this, and He lead us through it together. I wouldn't change that for anything.
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